this is the best snapchat ive ever seen
Mickey Mouse gas mask for children during WW2.
This is terrifying.
fuck that creepypasta was true
Douglas Adams is the best when it comes to describe characters
they need to teach classes on Douglas Adams analogies okay
“He leant tensely against the corridor wall and frowned like a man trying to unbend a corkscrew by telekinesis.”
"Stones, then rocks, then boulders which pranced past him like clumsy puppies, only much, much bigger, much, much harder and heavier, and almost infinitely more likely to kill you if they fell on you.”
"He gazed keenly into the distance and looked as if he would quite like the wind to blow his hair back dramatically at that point, but the wind was busy fooling around with some leaves a little way off.”
"It looked only partly like a spaceship with guidance fins, rocket engines and escape hatches and so on, and a great deal like a small upended Italian bistro.”
"If it was an emotion, it was a totally emotionless one. It was hatred, implacable hatred. It was cold, not like ice is cold, but like a wall is cold. It was impersonal, not as a randomly flung fist in a crowd is impersonal, but like a computer-issued parking summons is impersonal. And it was deadly - again, not like a bullet or a knife is deadly, but like a brick wall across a motorway is deadly.”
And, of course:
"The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don’t."
|—||Six Word Story (via jappan)|
if your boyfriend pauses call of duty to text you back, dump him because he plays shitty games
Everyone who is trying to remember a word.
personally I hate twilight but this one character is a legend.
Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
Ask your mom.
i can’t believe how many times i’ve had to say this but oh my god
- if somebody likes a thing a lot
- if something makes them happy and brings them joy
- and it is not doing anything to hurt anyone
- do not
- under any circumstances
- rain on their goddamn parade
- there are better things to do with your time than being mean to people for enjoying and getting happiness from something